Learn. Grow. Embrace Yourself.

How many of you stick to the same old routine? The same color palette for your clothes, the same hairdo you’ve been rocking for like 10+ years, the same style of clothing.. The list goes on! I’m guilty of every one of those things. I never really thought of myself as being afraid of change but clearly I AM! …Until now.

For the last couple of months I have had my mind set on change. I want to better myself. I want to inspire myself so that I might, someday, inspire any or all of you. I know the biggest change would be losing a bit of weight but I’m not ready to tackle that challenge just yet. Currently, I am focusing on my inner beauty. My mindset. I am always finding the good in things because (while I am an optimist) I find myself thinking of the negative aspect of everything lately. For every negative thought that crosses my mind I always try to come up with 2 or 3 positive things. Outweighing the bad always cancels it out, right? I realized that to do that, I subsequently end up toying with my outer beauty. At first glance, it might seem like I am being vein but I promise I AM NOT. What’s really happening is a chain reaction. The focus on my outward appearance is a means to distract myself. Occupying my mind is a huge contributing factor to changing the way my mind works. If I find a hobby, I have something better to do than to think a negative thought. Which also helps with the weight challenge because I am busy doing something productive thus taking away my “boredom” and eating when I’m not really hungry. I have several hobbies. They are fantastic distractions! Some I have mastered. Some I have not.

For a couple of years I used crocheting as a means to keep myself occupied. Mostly in the winter time because it’s so damn cold! I’m convinced I was never supposed to be a Vermonter. I was made for a tropical environment but instead of being put in the womb of a woman in the Virgin Islands was mistakenly put in the womb of a Vermont woman…

I mastered hats that’s for sure. I like cartoon characters: Hello Kitty, Lalaloopsy, TMNT, Minnie Mouse, Minions… It was really relaxing TBH!

I have tried to play the guitar… (notice there’s not much else to say here?)

My newest hobby is (quite obviously) blogging. Which I’m hopeful will turn into something more of a vlog in the future. But that’s a whole other realm of uncomfortable.

I have also taken up makeup. Which is so fun! I can choose colors that are completely natural or go bat shit crazy and choose some robin’s egg blue lipstick and some neon colored eye shadow and go nuts. It’s a great way to step out of my comfort zone, though. I can be anyone I want to be. It also gives me an outlet. While working to perfect all the different techniques, I am occupied and completely in the zone. It can keep me busy for hours. Screw up, try again. screw up, try yet again.

MERMAID COLORS!

When I get my mind set on something I am determined to get it done; whether it’s mastering a new hobby, wanting a new car, needing to buy a new colored shirt, or adding to my growing wardrobe of clothes I would never let anyone see me in.

A good example is in something I did last summer to step out of my comfort zone. Trying to wear shorts. I hadn’t worn shorts since I was 12 years old. But I took a dive right into the clothing section at Walmart and bought a pair. It was disappointing at first but after trying on like 1o different styles and colors I managed to find ONE SINGLE pair that I really liked! Which then turned me into a monster. I was set on having a whole summer’s worth of shorts to wear despite my lack of money to spend on them. So I had to rearrange my budget to accommodate my new found obsession (which is a blog for another time).

My point is, I am determined to successfully master change. I don’t want to change who I am, I just want to tweak some things. I want to be my best. I want to stop being lazy and put in some effort. Even if it’s just the tiniest bit. Everyone has to start somewhere and I think I’m off to a great new beginning!

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